OK, OK, I'm Here. Gawd!

So, some people were harassing me because I hadn't updated this thing since just after I started it. And, sure, that's true, but I haven't had much to say over the past week. Sure, I've been updating my Facebook status, but that takes very little time and creativity. And I should be washing dishes right now, instead of succumbing to peer pressure, but I've never been very strong avoiding suggestions.

So here you go, all two of you that read this thing so far...a culling of my favorite status updates from the past week. Enjoy!

Andrea is now in the market for a new nose, as the one she had froze off on the walk back from lunch. Her sniffles are gone, though.

Andrea couldn't find her moisturizing gloves last night, and as it's desert-dry in her apartment, had to wear socks on her hands.

(For those in the D.C. area, this'll make sense) Andrea wonders why Tyson made his corner so difficult to get to.

Andrea just did the backstroke in the flooded office kitchen.

Andrea wonders what excuse she's gonna use to forgo the gym tonight.

Andrea received a press release touting products called "Gainfully Employed Fixtures," "Hardworking Taxpayer Table Lamps," and "Honest Wall Street Sconces." Seriously. (That's making light of the economy! Or looking at the bright side in this our darkest hour.)

Andrea thinks the people who claim that chewing gum will curb your desire to snack are stupid.

(My personal favorite) Andrea wonders if Judd Gregg actually withdrew his nomination because he had to go get his excess consonants surgically removed.

Andrea heard Marion Barry say, "that bitch, Uncle Sam, set me up."

Andrea does not recommend chopping an onion, then putting in one's contact lenses shortly afterward.